Defining Your Midlife Rebellion
How Journaling Can be Your Biggest Advocate to Live an Authentic Life
Welcome to Janine’s Journal Jam. An offering of journal prompts and the stories that spark them. May they inspire you to jam with your journal!
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This post is inspired by Kristi Koeter’s article Ready for your midlife moment? from her Almost Sated Substack. Permission was granted to reprint parts of her article for the sake of this post.
I came across Kristi’s Almost Sated Substack through SarahFayWritersatWork thread. I immediately felt a connection when I read her article.
I reached out, and we decided to collaborate.
Her article resonated with me on so many levels: nourishing my body, loving myself in this midlife time, exploring this new sense of self, and how I could live boldly.
Questions popped in my head:
Am I living boldly?
What was my ‘first definitive act of midlife rebellion?’
To answer these questions, I journaled. As a lifelong journaler, I reflected on what most of my life before menopause was focused on.
Caring for others, raising my children, creating a loving home environment. When I lost my son to leukemia, it shifted to running a foundation for 12 years that focused on supporting children battling cancer. It was feeling the need to produce, do more, be more, care more, and always saying yes, because I should be able to do it all.
Then my hormones changed. I got hot flashes. I became emotional. My immune-compromised body became inflamed. I no longer wanted to fix everyone, say yes to everything, and take care of others.
What was wrong with me?
How could I be so callous? So selfish?
I wanted, no needed, to slow down. My body wasn't keeping up with my mind, my heart kept breaking, and my soul felt shriveled.
Throughout my life there have always been glimpses of the need to choose ME, but it was always stuffed down by DO MORE!
I’m the first to admit that I'm a people pleaser. At 54 years old, something had to change.
I turned to my journal.
My journal is my Pause Place.
My compass that directs me to what my soul craves. It gives me the space to ask questions, be honest, vent, whine, release toxins, and be curious. It's my beacon as I know that if I'm brave enough to write, feel, reflect, and explore, my journal always leads me to hope—to my most authentic self.
My ‘first definitive act of rebellion’ in midlife was carving a space for me. My morning Personal Care Practice (PCP) is to create a sacred space where I can meditate on how I wish to show up, what I desire to bring in, and journal my intentions. What I do in this sacred space varies, but for the past four years, holding sacred space for my PCP comes first.
Every other act of rebellion has grown from this sacred foundation.
When I first began this PCP, my son was home with me and my husband during COVID. There was some consternation. Questions like: What are you doing? Why? What's for breakfast?
I realized I had to explain the What, Why, When, and even How. When I saw the benefits for myself and my family, this PCP became a non-negotiable boundary. It has become the framework of my journal practice and mental health care. It has supported me in my shift from being a people-pleaser to a soul-carer.
Caring for me first brightens my light for everyone else.
Living boldly is never letting anyone dim my light.
Since my son moved out, my husband’s question is: Are you going to have breakfast or do your thing first?
My thing (caring for me) comes first.
It's not selfish: it's Self-Full.
It's a continual practice, but Kristi's article sparked journal prompts that are sure to deepen my exploration and support my reclamation of my most glorious midlife.
They are inspired by her ‘7 Subtle Shifts for Midlife Growth.’
My hope is that they will spark a midlife rebellion in you.
Value: “A person’s principles or standards of behavior; one’s judgment of what is important in life.” -Oxford Dictionary
Synonym: Love, Treasure, Cherish, (v)(adv)
Something to embody
What are your values or principles that are the compass for how you live and act?
Ideas or beliefs that matter to you?
What do you treasure?
1. “You’re worn out from people-pleasing, and for the first time in your life, starting to realize that constantly putting others first isn’t sustainable.”
What is no longer sustainable? Feels like it no longer fits.
How do you feel about stopping what isn't sustainable?
What would happen if you stopped or what do you fear would happen?
How will you go about creating this change?
Who can support you?
What will this open up for you?
What value does this release connect with?
Why?
2. “You’re beginning to question social pressures and societal norms more deeply, feeling a growing urge to make your own rules.”
What stories or ways of being did you prioritize or were a part of your life before peri- or menopause?
Who told you those stories?
Where did they originate?
Do they still serve you?
What have you always been told to do over and over again that no longer feels aligned with your values? As Kristi writes: “people pleasing, putting everyone else first, worrying about what others think, or constantly measuring yourself against impossible standards.”
What stories are you ready to unpack, leave behind?
3. “You’re starting to realize that embracing the word ‘no’ is both sanity-saving and an act of self-respect.”
Your journal can be that Pause Place before committing to saying yes or no for a request.
Is what you've been asked to do aligned with your values and your way of being right now?
How do you feel that saying no is an act of self-respect?
What would saying no open up space for? (Doesn't necessarily mean that that space should be filled.)
4. “You’re done with the endless striving and comparison, and you’ve started to imagine what it might feel like to embrace yourself exactly as you are.”
What do you love about yourself?
Where can you give yourself grace?
What lifts you up at this magical time in your life?
Who sees you exactly as you are and lifts you up as well?
5. “You’re questioning what success really means and whether your life aligns with your values and passions.”
What hopes, dreams, and desires spark excitement in your life?
If you could do anything in this moment, what would it be?
What are your passions?
What is a childhood joy that you would love to do again?
How do you remember feeling when you did it?
What would give you that same joy or feeling now?
6. “You’re yearning for a life of meaning, purpose, and authenticity—and you’re done postponing your dreams for ‘someday.’”
What does living your authentic life look like?
What do you yearn for in your life right now?
What dreams are on your soul’s path?
How can you live boldly?
What does this mean to you?
7. “You’re beginning to listen to your inner voice after years of relying on external advice or validation."
What does your inner voice sound like?
How do you know?
When your inner voice rings true where do you feel it in your body?
What is the texture, color, shape, sound, feeling?
How do you tune in to your inner voice?
What is your sacred space where you can be your authentic self, tune into your inner voice, visualize your dreams and desires, and be in that Pause Place to live your most glorious life?
There are a lot of possibilities here.
Journal to what serves you best.
Perhaps beginning with that self-awareness and Pause Place so that you can tune in to what matters to you, what your soul desires, and who you're called to be right now. For more prompts on beginning a journal practice please visit Janine’s Journal Jam. Subscribe to get these prompts in your email.
Subscribe to Kristi’sAlmost Sated newsletter. She holds space for you during this beautifully transitional time in your life where you get to choose how you grow, what you bloom, and how your light shines out into the world.
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 | A guest post by
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Honored to be the inspiration for this post! I truly believe midlife is when we step into our truest version of ourselves. Whether we recognize it or not, we often have subtle signs and shifts before out and out rebellion. When we successfully take those first steps, we are emboldened to take more.