Choosing Joy on a Sad Anniversary
27 Years Since My Dad’s Passing
Thank you for joining me in The Pause Place. Holding space for you in grief, feelings of loss, and your journey toward hope.
For more on my story, read The Pause Place.
My dad was larger than life. At 6'1" he not only towered over people, but he was built like a brick wall.
When I was born two weeks early, my 3 lb. 14 oz. body fit in the palm of this thick hand. My mom said he was afraid to crush me.
He never would. Even though he was big, he was gentle.
I see him in all of us.
Nick was two years old and Stephen was only two months old when their poppa passed.
Nick looked so much like my dad with his curly hair, big hands, and huge heart. I’d see my dad in his smile and feel his presence in the world through Nick’s caring ways.
Stephen’s loyalty was one of my dad’s most consistent traits. He’d go out on a limb for those he loved. He protected us with the fierceness of a bear. That loyalty would spark in a flash of anger (from 0-60 instantly) if someone messed with one of his cubs.
I see that in my son with his family or friends.
I have my dad’s curly hair. His love of dancing and singing around the house.
He was a skilled and talented carpenter. Great care was taken in his meticulously creative and beautiful craftsmanship.
Our childhood home in Greenville, NY was built by him, his brothers, and many cousins.
He believed in hard work.
Bartered when someone couldn’t pay for a job. He always took care of his family.
My love of motorcycles comes from my dad.
We rode dirt bikes around our house and on dirt tracks. Some of my best memories are riding with him to the Americade Motorcycle Rally in Lake George. Riding to Mount Greylock with my parents and my husband. We’re a two-wheeled family and that joy of freedom in the wind represents my dad.
He was and still is the love of my mom’s life. They met when they were 16. Dad protected her from a kid who scared her with a spider. I guess that’s all it took.
Carefree and loving. Strong and fierce. Protective and filled with laughter.
He’s missed so very much. But he’s in all of us.
I dream of my dad, and two nights ago I had the joy of feeling his bear hug.
Yes, there is sadness, but the joy of our memories with him is brighter.
Today, I lit a candle in his memory. I remember the precious gifts he gave our family.
Whoever you are grieving for this time of year, I’m holding you in my heart and sending you love.
Let’s Connect: Always happy to hear from you. Feel free to share stories or how this resonates. All thoughts are welcome.
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For All Saints/Souls week this year we made an ancestor altar at our kitchen table. We taped up photos on the window and every evening when we sat down to dinner Amos would ask us to tell stories. By the end he knew everyone's names. He asked for stories about Great Papa and Nicholas. It was one of the more meaningful traditions I started a few years ago and even more so to share it with him. He was disappointed when I took it down, but the photos are still up, just in other places.
BIG hugs.